Why Do I Write These Blogs?

Maybe some of you have wondered the same thing. However, I didn’t give it much thought until recently. The simplest answer is that I like to do it, but after I’ve given it some thought, there is much more behind my writings and their purpose.

One of the first things that came to my mind regarding the time I spend putting my thoughts into words that may never be read is that, maybe they will be read. When I’m sitting at my computer, I am not thinking about an audience or who is going to read this. I am thinking about philosophies that have shaped my life, issues that form my opinions, or experiences that have impacted me. I don’t expect others to conjure the same emotions as I have or to reflect as deeply on my experiences, but I do want to share them. The purpose? Well, it’s out there for others to see. As I’ve turned 46, I am aware that I have more than likely lived over half of my life. In fact, another 30 years would be a good life, so my goal is to leave my tangible impact and voice on this world. Maybe some day after I am gone, my family will be able to look back at some of my work and reflect on the person that I am and was. Maybe others will find my voice and words one day after I have stopped writing and they will have a positive impact on them in some way.

Besides trying to leave a lasting legacy or fingerprint that I was on this earth, I also like to use this platform to share my thoughts. Despite writing these articles and blogs, I am a pretty quiet person for those that know me. To those that read my blogs, it is easy to assume that as a writer I always have a lot to say. However, it is quite the contrary. In a group of people, I am usually one of the last to speak. Part of it is do to inherent shyness, but the other is because I often like to listen and formulate my thoughts. Sometimes I never even get around to fully forming my thoughts or words in the moment. Yet, as an introspective person, I am usually dwelling on a situation or conversation long after it took place. This format allows me to fully formulate my thoughts and words. I can edit them and reflect on them. I can control them and delete them if I don’t like how they are coming across. In person, those things are difficult for me or anyone else to do.

It probably seems laughable to a people who see me constantly sharing these blogs in their timelines, but I also hate being the center of attention. I get made fun of because I’m not one to make a big deal out of birthdays. That is due to the fact that I just cannot stand being the focus of others. I always like to deflect or defer to others. I don’t believe that I should be celebrated for just being me, but I’m learning to accept that I need to be respectful to what is important to others. The same goes for Christmas. I always hate opening my gifts with everyone watching, so I usually try to sneak them when nobody is paying attention. I just don’t like eyes on me or people watching my reaction. I hate hurting people’s feelings, and is there anything worse than not loving a gift someone has purchased for you?

But, back to why I write these blogs. I write these because I want my kids to one day have a better understanding of who I am and was as a person. I hope that they take the wisdom I can give them know and apply it in their lives when necessary, but if I’m not here tomorrow I want them to have my words and guidance their forever. I want them to always be able to express themselves and understand that you can do that in different ways. This is my way of expression, but you can do it face to face. You can say it over the phone. You can say it with your actions. I just want my kids to know that if there were times I didn’t express myself, it’s because I couldn’t find the right words in the moment.

The same goes for my wife. Sometimes we have difficulty communicating with each other. Our personalities are sometimes too similar, so we bottle up our emotions. The person that I can be the most vulnerable too is also the person I have the most difficulty opening up to at times. I struggle to show my vulnerability and feelings face to face with her, but I want her to be able to understand how I feel about certain things by reading them in my words and my format. Writing these somehow makes me feel less vulnerable to her while getting closer to her.

When I write down my thoughts, I can literally share them with the world. Once I hit publish, I don’t know where my words go or who they will impact. As the perpetual helper, I always hope that my words will resonate with someone I don’t know. It is great hearing comments from people close to me that read my posts, but it is even more rewarding seeing that people I have never met comment or like my posts. Sometimes I assume that people I know don’t even bother to read these, and then in a conversation weeks later they’ll bring up something I wrote. I LOVE knowing that my thoughts in one moment resonated with someone long after I wrote them.

Writing is an art. It has taken me a while to appreciate that. I just assumed that anyone could do it. However, I am finally starting to realize that it takes skill and craft to make this work. Much like I marvel at how others can draw, paint, or build something with basic tools, writing is a craft. It takes time to get right. It takes practice to get better. And, your style is uniquely your own. It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate, it is just a chance to make your mark on the world. Let someone know that you were here. They say that all of our words are still traveling out there infinitely in space, but with writing I know they’ll always be there for people to read and re-read.

This post may not be as thoughful or thought-provoking as others, but I wrote this as much for you and I wrote it for myself. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my time sitting at a keyboard. However, as I get older I am slowly realizing that this time I spend at a keyboard is preserving time.